Find Out Your Unique Gift

A friend of mine recently went through a total direction change in her business. As it happens sometimes, the change was seemingly imposed onto her by a number of business decisions that her partners took while she was out of town which precipitated the decision to fold up.

Even though she was quite philosophical about it (the business had not been going well for some time, so in a way, she was relieved to have finally found a firm direction that enabled her to take action), she was rather confused as to what was next.

Have you ever been, or are you right now, in a place where you are leaving something behind, and suddenly too many avenues are opened in front of you and somehow you don’t know what to do. The problem comes from too many choices rather than not enough.

So what now? is the question that we do not seem to be able to find an answer for.

The answer does not come easily because suddenly, you have the opportunity to thoroughly reinvent who you are. All those possibilities that were mere ‘dreams’ when you were in a clearly defined routine now become real alternatives again.

In one of his shows, Seinfeld says that “when men are growing up and they read about Batman, Spiderman, Superman, these are not fantasies, these are options”. So you find yourself having all the options opened in front of you again, and it can be daunting.

My friend was faced with many either-or question marks: shall I stay here or shall I move? shall I start another business or shall I work for someone? Shall I work or shall I go back to school?

While it is natural to ask ourselves those questions, usually the best place to start in those moments is inside. If you don’t do what you love, it does not really matter where you are doing it, or whether you are doing it for yourself or for someone else right? There’s a French expression which says “It won’t help to put a band-aid on a wooden leg”: you want to make sure what you are dealing with before you find solutions.

The process below has helped many of my clients, friends and myself at moments when answers were just not coming out straight and clear. It can apply to any area of your life, but works particularly well for business/career.

We use what is called a ‘Venn Diagram’ to discover, at the intersection of 3 circles representing the answer to 3 carefully chosen questions, the essence, the fundamental quality that is the inspirational source to all answers.

Here’s how it works:

1. Take a piece of paper, and write down everything (everything!) that resonates for you with the 3 key words in each circle: TALENTS (what are my talents), PASSION (what is my passion),  UNIQUE RESULTS (what are the unique results I had in my business/career). Take your time, don’t censor yourself (especially when it comes to your talents and your unique results), whatever comes to your mind is relevant.
And when you think you have put down everything you can think about on paper, then ask yourself the question again, often, the most important words will come to you last.
I would recommend that you do this over several days, keeping the 3 keywords in the back of your mind and jotting down new ideas as they come over the course of several days.

2. Then, ask other people around you to feedback on your talents and your unique results. Email friends, relatives, (ex-)colleagues, bosses, clients, teachers, students etc… tell them you are going through this process that requires you to ask people who know you what are your talents and your unique results according to them. Gather as much information from as many people as possible. Sometimes, their answers will be surprising.

3. When you feel that you have exhausted the flow of answers, then gather them and look at similar  words or ideas you have put down (remember to write everything), those that are present in all 3 circles. This is your UNIQUE GIFT.
When you work inside-out starting from your ‘unique gift’, the answers to the question “what’s next” will come easily and you will be able to take subsequent decision with a sense that you are doing what is right for you at the time.

This process is part of the work on ‘Values’ those very deeply unconscious drives that determines all our behaviours and decisions.

If you want to know more about values, send us your questions or leave a comment below, and check out the dates of the next ‘Thinking Styles’ workshops where you will learn everything about values.

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